Are You Ready For Another Baby ?

According to some studies, a gap between births of 18 to 23 months has the highest chance of ensuring the healthiest possible outcomes for both mother and babies. Many experts agree that women should space pregnancies at least 18 months apart, so that their bodies would have had sufficient time to make a full recovery from the last birth. This is especially true for moms who have had a previous cesarean or other uterine surgery.

Having said that, when it comes to family planning and birth spacing, there is really no `rule of thumb'. Some women will be enthusiastically planning for another child while they still have one or more children in diapers. Others may not even want to think about those long nine months of pregnancy until their youngest child is at least ready for kindergarten.

One thing is for sure - as much as having a baby is a big change, going from your first to your second(or more) can be an even bigger challenge. What should you consider if you're trying to decide whether you're ready for another new addition to your family ?

First of all, it is important to consider your won needs, wishes and capabilities. Does the thought of having another baby fill you with delight or trepidation ? Are you being indirectly `pressured' to have another child, because you're coming close to the end of that `optimal fertility' age, or because you think your child really ought to have a playmate ?

You'll also need to think about your energy level, and whether you will realistically be able to cope with the physical demands of an increased workload. Can you count on any help from your spouse, relatives or friends, not just during the pregnancy, but also after the birth ? Are you mentally prepared to make sacrifices, because having more than one child really doesn't leave you with much personal or social time ?

Another crucial factor is your relationship with your spouse. Does your partner feel about the same way as you do about having another baby ? If not, you should really work the ground and go through the issues befire you make a firm decision as to whether a new baby is a good idea. Remember, two-way communication is vital in a marriage and most `projects' work best when both partners are on the same side of the fence.

Some couples believe that having a baby can help to bring them together, but unfortunately, more often than not, the opposite is true. If you're already facing problems in your marriage, a squalling newborn is unlikely to provide a solution, and may even increase the existent level of tension in your relationship.

Don't forget your child or children when you are contemplating another pregnancy. It is an inevitable fact that once a second child is born, parents will no longer be able to spend as much time with either child as they spent with their first, so be ready to grapple with those pangs of guilt !

Before the age of three, most children will not accept with any measure of grace the notion of sharing their parents, space and belongings. If you have a toddler at home, be prepared for the child to react to a new sibling by displaying jealous or muischievous behaviour. Temper tantrums and exhibitions of sibling rivalry are very likely in the pipeline, so it's really advisable for your to psyche yourself up for some colourful displays of emotion if your decide to go ahead with your plan to introduce a sibling.

Emotions and states of mind aside, you must take a realistic look at your physical surroundings and your financial health. Is your current home big enough to house another little being ? Don't forget that while a newborn can spend its first few months in a cot, sooner or later, you need to address the question of shared versus separate rooms for your kids.

If having a baby means having to move to a larger home, your finances will obviously enter the equation. Though your initial 'capital outlay' will not be as great as when you had your first child, due to the fact that you can often recycle baby clothing and equipment, you will need to seriously consider parallel expenses for clothing, entertainment and education as your children mature.

There's no denying that the cost of raising kids can be pretty hefty. If having another child is going to cause you to live out the next ten years of your life on a shoestring budget, postponing the "baby plan" until your bank account is looking healthier may be the practical way to go.

Ready, Steady, Go !!!

So you've take the time to weigh all the factors mentioned, and decided that you're all set for that new arrival. What's next ? Well, if you have a young child at home, one of the first of many practical things you will need to consider is your decrease in mobility and energy level in the later stages of pregnancy. Make sure that you have or will have some form of help at hand, and plan in advance for your older child to be constructively occupied while you go about with your bulging belly.

As you enter your eighth month of pregnancy, start preparing your child for the imminent arrival of the baby. If you begin too soon, your child may grow impatient ion the process of waiting for the "event" - nine months is a long time to a young child~ Books are a wonderful way of introducing the concept of a new baby to toddlers, and there are plenty of good books for kids on the subject.

As much as a new baby is going to be big change for all family members, it may affect the existing child the most. Reassure your child continually that the amount of love he is receiving is not going to decrease with the arrival of another little creature. WHen you are buying items in preparation for the birth, don't neglect to throw in a inexpensive gift for your first child, just to remind him that he is by no means forgotten.

If you are planning to move to a bigger residence, it is recommended that you make this transition before you even start trying for a baby, as you most certainly do not want to be faced with the propect of moving when you are heavily pregnant ! Even if you decide to stay in your current home, bear in mind that 'new demarcation lines' will have to be drawn up.

It's never too early to pre-designate an area in the house as a special place or private territory belonging to the first child. This will become your older child's 'sanctuary' in which to feel secure when his privacy is invaded (and it will be). It's also a good idea to set aside a common area, and to encourage your child to identify a few toys as 'shareable' ones. Consequently, his 'private property' can be safely stored within his reach but out of the grasp of smaller and (arguably) stickier fingers.